My Eczema

I don't know what it was like when i first got atopical eczema as a kid, I wasn't there mentally. But I do know that my condition kept getting worse and worse the years between 14 and 25, to a point where i was seriously uncertain about my future if it kept developing for the worse.

I was scared that i might not be able to go to India, or China, because my skin would be too exposed, and i would risk getting infections that i would have to struggle with for the rest of my life. I also thought about when i get old, how normal old peoples skin looks bad, how would i look? And i was scared of the potential agony that may be waiting for me in my late years.

I had been using an ointment, Protopic which worked wonders on me. But when i first started as a teenager i could take one treatment, and wait maybe two-three weeks before my eczema burst out again. For a long time I saw this as my only saviour, and got really worried after some time. I got eczema on new areas of my body, and when they first came, they stayed, how long until my body was covered? And the intervals for applying Protopic shrunk, i needed it more and more often.

By the time I was 25 i discovered that it actually, more or less, now had spread to my entire body, and i could not figure out why. And the intervals for applying my (extremely expensive) wonder ointment, Protopic, was now shrunk to days. I was kind of freaking out seeing this development.

I discovered that Protopic, well functioning at a medical level, had done me what we in Norway call a "bear favour", an apperent favour that affects me in a bad way, like giving booze to an alcoholic. Protopic had enabled my scratching for years, meaning that it worked so well to supress the symptoms that i could keep lunging at my skin as much as i wanted. This was the reason for my ever worsening condition. So I quit.

What happened then was that any scratching i undertook, made me suffer badly.  And this pushed me in the right direction, what i started focusing on was tackling my need to scratch, as you probably know, itching is extremely addictive. It's like i read from another guy blogging about his eczema "It's like my personal Darth Vader awakes, willing to run a lightsaber through every little tickle"

I read half way through a book called "Skin Deep" which one need to take with a grain of salt since it's based on outdated Freudian Psychoanalysis, but still it helped to highlight an important point to my self: Scratching is the main triggerer for my eczema, and my head controls my itch.

The truth is I had a realy stressfull coming up, a complicatad divorce and a lot of neglect made me a nervous guy. I know this because it is my skin that takes the beating when i feel stressed or frustrated. I can actually tell if I am stressed now from how much I itch. This blog is refering to the psychological aspect as much as the physiological aspect of eczema.

I think overcoming eczema is a project that adresses your entire beeing, especially how you think and what you feel. A toned diet is good for this and also frequent exercise and sleep. Please continue reading if you struggle with eczema, and please share your views.

Best,
Itchy